DonabatePortrane.net

I was walking home carrying my groceries a little earlier when a young boy (5/6 years old) greeted me. Nothing wrong there and I was more than happy to say hello back. Children of that age being curious, he asked me where I was going. I told him I was going home. I expected that to be the end of it.

Alas, the kid insisted that he was going to 'bring me home'. I told him that I'd be ok going home by myself, all the while looking around, fully expecting to see a parent not too far away to whom I could entrust their son. But there was nobody around, and I couldn't shake the child off. He insisted on following me to my door.

I felt that I had no option but to tell this story here and the hope that I'm not the only one who finds it unacceptable that, in this day and age,

1) the child was totally unsupervised
2) the parent(s) don't realise that their own child's personality/curiosity is potentially putting him in great danger.

As it happens, I am a teacher and thus Garda vetted. But that's what adds to my anger and concern. This child did not appear disadvantaged or neglected. His vocabulary etc... was excellent. This is an example of feckless, irresponsible parenting. Have these people never heard about child protection? I'm getting more and more angry just writing this as I think that this child's next encounter could be with someone very different as the parents sit inside somewhere, clearly not giving a damn.

Did you not try to ascertain where he lived and bring him home and maybe have a word with his parents?

Teachers are experts. unfortunately parents are not.

Hi somewhere_else. There are reasons why I don't want to be overly specific as to where this happened etc... as this is a public forum. I did indeed ask the child that question but the answer he gave (remember he was very young) was very vague. As I said, I looked around to see if there was anyone who looked like his parent but there was literally nobody else close by. I actually considered reporting the matter to the Gardaí but, as we're not exactly talking a toddler here, I decided against it this time. I really think the issue here is child protection and the responsibility of parents.

Mr. Stupid, what an incredibly dumb excuse for a bit of casual teacher bashing. Get a life.

Imperfect parents are not allowed to engage in teacher bashing. Perfect teachers are allowed to engage in parent bashing. Fair enough.

Perhaps, if the problem was serious contacting the gardai would be more constructive than a pointless rant.

Hi Estuarine: I know you may not be able to give us the full details but I would hate to think that you may have closed the door on the child and left him to go off maybe to approach another adult?

You've obviously got some grievance, Mr. Stupid, but beyond this response you'll have to find someone else to air it with.

Nowhere do I seek to tar all parents as imperfect etc... This was a specific, isolated incident. All parents love their children, but maybe some need to reflect on their safety a little more. BTW: I presume, in your world, teachers can't be parents too?

Now, kindly take your teacher bashing somewhere else and let anyone who'd like to react to the issue as described get in. The only point I'm making is that after years of horror stories of child abuse, abductions, paedophiles etc..., there would still appear to be some parents not taking things seriously enough. That's all. I've no other agenda.

Well Somewhere Else, on this occasion, that is what happened. In the light of your concerns, I will think again as to whether I should raise it with the Gardaí/HSE etc... Good to know you see where I'm coming from.

Why do you put ... after etc?

You know, it never fails to amaze me, if teaching is such an easy job/cushy number, how come those that hide behind a keyboard and whine about what an easy life teachers have' didn't become teachers themselves??????

It's just silly to turn this into a teacher bashing thread.
Kids that age shouldn't be roaming the streets like dogs that hopped over the back wall.

What is OP trying to achieve with this thread? Advice? Sure. Don't leave a 6 year old kid stranded and just rant about the parents when you don't know all the circumstances. Contact the Gardai is the suggestion.

to let the child wander again kids can find there way out could have been a number of reasons i think the first poster is the real mr stupid,

never ceases to amaze me the amount of anonymous bleeding hearts people around.
the OP is getting attacked because he/she pointed out the fact that a 5 year old (not connected to him/her in anyway) was wandering around on his own approaching strangers.

Baffling replies from some of you.

Of course hindsight is great and the OP should have reported it to someone etc etc blah blah, but at the time thats not always the first thing someone thinks of.

Simple fact is a 5 year old was allowed, by his parents/guardians to wander the streets on their own approaching strangers. In this day and age that's just mind numbingly stupid and said parents/guardians should have more cop on

bear wrote:to let the child wander again kids can find there way out could have been a number of reasons i think the first poster is the real mr stupid,

Bear - attack the post, not the poster. There is no need for this and it adds nothing to the conversation.

ken the poster attacked the parents without knowing how the kid was on the street and for someone who claims to be a teacher to do what they did is baffling

Some kids have no fear and are always running off. It is unfair to judge parents when you dont have all the facts. And I struggle to see what the point is in judging them.

Ok, so what was my point in posting this? To point out what happened and hopefully to focus parents' minds on their primary responsibility to look after their children.

As I stated in a previous post, there are certain details that I will not post here that would go a long way towards addressing my own reaction. Frankly, if you think I'm going to post exactly where I live on a public forum you'll be disappointed. If you think I'm going to identify the exact area when that child could be out 'playing' again and anyone could read this, you need to look at your own standards.

What I will say is that this occurred in a very quiet, residential area and the environmental risk (traffic etc) to the child was practically nil. When I first met the child, he was playing by himself in an open area. The biggest risk to the child arose from his curiosity and the fact that he obviously hadn't been told not to talk to strangers or hadn't taken it in. I considered what the most appropriate response was and I am absolutely satisfied that if I had phoned the Gardaí at that point, they would not have regarded it as a priority callout. We are not talking about a child, obviously lost, walking along a busy road. Given the views expressed here, I would probably adopt a different approach if it happened again. Replies linking my response to my responsibilities as a teacher, without knowing the full facts as outlined here, are nothing more than cheap shots.

As I have said, the biggest risk to this child arose out of his trusting personality, not his immediate environment.

I really find those of you seeking to absolve the parents of responsibility rather disturbing - but not entirely unexpected. Your responses remind me of the Maddie McCann affair. Whilst the responsibility for any wrongdoing lies squarely with the wrongdoer, the parents were completely responsible for leaving the child unsupervised. Not everyone accepted that of course, possibly because the circumstances surrounding what happened hit a little too close to home as regards their own parenting standards...

Ok so you are very angry with the parents for letting their child talk to you without their direct supervision even thou that might have happened by accident - you have not got all the facts. Why is it more constructive to take this to the internet rather than to talk to the parents?

Mr. Stupid wrote:Ok so you are very angry with the parents for letting their child talk to you without their direct supervision even thou that might have happened by accident - you have not got all the facts. Why is it more constructive to take this to the internet rather than to talk to the parents?

How would he/she know who the parents are? I'm close to locking this thread as everyone has had their say.

"Where are you parents?"
"Where do you live?"

Mr. Stupid wrote:Some kids have no fear and are always running off. It is unfair to judge parents when you dont have all the facts. And I struggle to see what the point is in judging them.

what facts are required?

FACT: child was out alone unsupervised approaching strangers.

Never ever ever was my 5 year old EVER allowed out unsupervised at any time.
There was never a question of him just wandering off. Why? Because I was in full control at ALL times.
I didnt allow him to wander off. Simple really.
No other facts are needed when it comes to looking after a child.

If you entrusted the care of your 5 year old to a creche or a school, there would be severe consequences if that child was allowed to wander out of the building on their own.

Same should go for a child allowed to wander out of his house alone.

Mr. Stupid wrote:"Where are you parents?"
"Where do you live?"

Good luck getting that info from a 5 year old.

Moomer wrote: Same should go for a child allowed to wander out of his house alone.

You see this is the crux of the matter. If the child was in real danger the police should have been called and the OP was more at fault than the parents who could have been frantically looking for the child for all we know.

But, this seems a bizarre situation. In that, one minute we are been told it was dangerous another minute it was not dangerous in the slightest. In court, any decent barrister would have this witness laughed at.

It was either dangerous, ergo call the cops. Or it was annoying, ergo call the internet.
Who are you going to call?

Mr. Stupid wrote: You see this is the crux of the matter. If the child was in real danger the police should have been called and the OP was more at fault than the parents who could have been frantically looking for the child for all we know.

hindsight is wonderful isn't it?
OP was the one in the situation and has stated they arent revealing all details for a reason so as far as I'm concerned OPs story should be taken at face value.

think i need to avoid trolls!
there are enough on other forum sites!

ken locking the post ? Is it you dont like other opinions so you throw your toys out of your pram ?